STANDING AS ALL AS ONE EXPRESSION OF ALL LIFE
"The Shift is Here" Experiment on Teleportation through Breath and Self-forgiveness:Part 1:Jan08
January 16, 2008
while i am in the computer chatting, i am watching my in breath , pause , outbreath, pause....
9:28am
its kinda tricky typing and doing things in my computer while i watch my breath .
10:02am
une roca
i had tried to keep it there, i mean my focus on my breath, sometimes i succeed sometimes not, but what worked for me is ...its like i am hearing the faint sound of my breath like a soft music, while i do my daily work schedule.
10:05am
june roca
more like a soft sound of my favorite music playing in the background that inspires me moment to moment
10:06am
june roca
when a thought comes, i acknowledge it with a nod and whispering to the thought i don't need you here.
10:09am
june roca
then i whisper to myself, i forgive myself for allowing this thought to be here.
10:10am
june roca
when i try so hard, i fail. it creates more tension
10:11am
june roca
but when i do it with the beingness as a creator of my reality, with awareness of all as me as equal as life in its totality, i feel whole, happy and content.
10:13am
june roca
right now, i will read the self-forgiveness list aloud with the same beingness , then see what happens....
10:15am
will be back at 10:45
10:25am
june roca
i just had a crying moment there as i did the self-forgiveness list. ...i must admit i didn't know some parts of me that i thought i knew.
10:56am
june roca
the link for the self-forgiveness list i was doing is: http://desteni.co.za/osho/veno23.htm
10:58am
june roca
it was important for me to watch my breathing while i read the list aloud and that i do it from the beingness of me as an expression of life in its totality and with no preconceived notion of me as who i am as my ego otherwise i will blow the whole proces
11:01am
june roca
i will stay here until 12 noon. i am not finished with the process yet
11:02am
june roca
that was my break from crying...it was a relief , iby the way, the paragraph that touched my ego the most that made me cry is the 16th paragraph from the bottom
11:06am
june roca
i will continue through the list until the end and will be back soon...
11:08am
june roca
having a crying break again....then will be back to give you my experience and my realizations for i am doing this as me and as you as all manifestations of life on earth....
11:24am
june roca
back to the list...will be back soon. i want to do maybe 2 lists today so i will have to extend my time online and be available . will be back soon...
11:26am
june roca
just forgot to say a very important point: when i read the list i thought some of it is not real to me but i just went through it anyway: my realization is that the conscious mind we have is not all we are: the other parts of the mind (subconscious & unconscious) will have to be accessed, but it is inaccessible because we are just aware of the conscious part in our waking moments.
11:32am
june roca
so when i just read the list without judgments, i made my whole self available so i accessed parts of me that is in grief, remorse etc. that was inaccesble to me when i am conscious..that is my biggest win at this point. that was where the transcendence happened.
11:35am
june roca
more to come...i am open for more...its like opening myself to me bit by bit until the total revelation comes....will be back soon after reading more of the list aloud
11:37am
june roca
i just finished my list just now while eating and crying in between. I am now starting male ego self-forgiveness list. The one i finished is the female ego self-forgiveness list. See you soon...
3:42pm
june roca
i finished 3 lists yesterday. After that my mind became very quiet even as i watch myself talking with someone.
11:37am
june roca
today as i talk to my neighbor, normally i would react to what she says but today i was looking at her while i am listening and noticed how she really looks and her gestures.
11:38am
june roca
she is an old lady and normally i would just listen to the idea that she wants to convey but today, i saw a childlike part of her and i smiled within me in joy just seeing that in her
11:40am
june roca
then as i was walking past my plants, i sort of said hello how are you feeling as me as i am all as life being a plant?
11:41am
june roca
as i fold my laundry, i put myself inside that purple towel and sort of felt how it is as me as an expression of all that is feeling being a towel?
11:43am
june roca
As i touched my computer keys yesterday, i sort of gave it a "communicating touch" sort of saying i understand how you feel as me there and i am proud that you are being used in helping me and others as you become aware of life that is us....
11:46am
june roca
somehow, life has more to it than just what i have to do to pay bills and clean and innovations i have to do in my website
11:49am
june roca
right now i am communicating to you as me as you as all expressions of life
11:49am
june roca
while of course the soft sound of my breath...breating in, pause, breathing out pause like soft music in the background having the rhytm of alll life, birds chirping, plants just being, shoes just being, printer just being with me as them
11:52am
june roca
i have to sign out for a moment to read another set of self-f forgiveness list aloud. After i finish them i will do my own
11:54am
june roca
will share with you what i have made for myself
11:54am
june roca
this must be self-honesty in action. It's not as scary as i think after all...i have thought of stopping because i cried a lot yesterday but i want to know if i can find out more of myself, especially the part i don't know yet.
11:56am
june roca
talk to you soon maybe 2 pm ..thanks for being!
11:57am
june roca
I apologize. Will chat later tonight. Have not finished the list and am looking at some very important articles/ Chow!
2:47pm
june roca
i still want to understand where does the power of being one as all expression of life. As i read some articles and looked at reasons why that is so i realized that something or someone cannot have power over me if i have that stand
8:17pm
june roca
where does the power come from? That's what i was gonna say
8:18pm
june roca
Aside from the above reason, i am coming from a true identity of me so there's no self deception therefore my ethics presence is there when i say it
8:20pm
june roca
therefore i have more conviction...more power!
8:21pm
june roca
i am also taking responsibility for me rather than depending on someone higher than me so the ability to create the desired outcome is within my power and control.
8:23pm
june roca
more realizations tomorrow. By the way, i also had doubts creeping in my mind as i do it. I just apply self-forgiveness as mentioned and go on. I vowed to finish the list.
8:24pm
june roca
Then, i will be able to go on with the experiment with an open mind rather than with judgements.
8:26pm
june roca
Then i will not affect the results of the experiment. Till tomorrow
January 17, 2008
june roca
Yesterday, i had to do self-forgiveness about 40 times or more. It is kinda tricky but i am just fascinated by the connection i have with everything.....that i treasure the most....i have said i am connected with everyone and i accept that as my truth.
10:31am
june roca
Before in theory i am but now that i am trying this breath awareness , i am just fascinated by the simplicity of it.
10:44am
june roca
I mean before i accepted the fact that we are all connected and i honor the plants , well my plants specifically, bless them, talked to them before
10:51am
june roca
But i really am oblivious of the trees i pass by as i walk down the street. I would either be in bliss because of the effects of my mediation or just singing my "mantra" (sanskrit word used to calm my mind. The sound of it means i am one with everything)
10:55am
june roca
The difference is now, i am breathing in as me and breathing out connecting with nature
10:56am
june roca
that's in every moment, so in essence i am living moment to moment and that itself is me experiencing me, not the mantra and its meaning but experiencing life
10:58am
june roca
as it is. Without other sounds in between us. I remembered the movie celestine prophecy.
11:00am
june roca
When you watch the clip (look at the group, Movie and Universal Love"
11:01am
june roca
This morning i went out and looked at the sun, normally, i would look at it as in sungaze, you know, and i would be amazed by the energy it gives out so i would say, good morning. Thank you for being here to give me this warmth.
11:03am
june roca
Now, when i saw the sun this morning, i when i breathed in i felt me as the sun as its warmth you know . I experienced both my beingness and the sun's within me.
11:07am
june roca
It's as if someone plucked my eyebrows and grown it back again. That is experiencing it in an awreness of self
11:10am
june roca
For it to be real to you, i would put the difference as similar to growing your own hair and having it cut and growing it again
11:11am
june roca
compared to putting on a wig that you absolutely love and treasure and removing it before going to bed and putting it back on again in the morning
11:12am
june roca
Both experiences are connected to your affinity to everything around you
11:13am
june roca
But experiencing it in 2 different ways. One is total awareness as the hair grows moment by moment and the other one, experincing something you have affinity with but the awareness is not moment to moment but there is a moment of separation in the other
11:16am
june roca
there is no grand drama, but you are awed by you....and that is just mind blowing.....
11:17am
june roca
I went to my mom this morning to do some things for her and i was expecting this pocess to be very difficult in there because she and my dad have a totaly different perspective on things. Before, i just keep quiet while inside i bless them
11:27am
june roca
When i went in the door, immediately i put on my beingness as me as all life so now i am watching me speak as she speaks, well i did not expect to see her in a different light, i sort of smiled inside,.
11:30am
june roca
she is not separate from who i am at that moment in fact it felt like watching myself do things and speak like she does.
11:31am
june roca
Rather than from the awareness of me as a being that is more aware than her and blessing her wherever she is coming from, i am now watching me as her speak....ias i watch her speak, i get to know more of me
11:34am
june roca
and the different ways i express myself rather than from her being her and me being me point of view and accepting the different way we express ourselves.
11:35am
june roca
wow!!!that's a revelation....
11:35am
june roca
Now, let me give you a reality check, after this experience or while i am having this experience, i am looking at my breath and if i am still aware of my breath as i am aware of me being other beingnesses. That's multi tasking,
11:37am
june roca
This process is an experiencial one . The experience i just told you , i will not be having if i did not jump into the process and do it.
11:40am
june roca
In the beginning, i looked at the articles of the people who had done this and are now travelling from dimension to dimension to here and back again, by the way, one of them is a member of our network...
11:41am
june roca
While i was reading, i thought this will be easy , why will it take them 2-7 years maximum? I will try to get there in less time.
11:43am
june roca
Good intention and enthusiasm . That's me . Well, now as i am doing the process, i understand the intricacies of the whole experience.
11:44am
june roca
Now, i realize that really its not when i will get to the goal, but the experience of getting there in total awareness that matters.
11:45am
june roca
In fact i think that is the goal of all goals
11:47am
june roca
The awareness of the experience of what happens while experiencing you as all all life and how you as all be, do and have.
11:48am
june roca
When i was learning yoga, the master says be the watcher. But i ask, who watches the watcher? You , the watcher in an infinite experience of you...
11:50am
june roca
wow! that's profound....but its simplicity still touches my being.
11:51am
june roca
Another reality check, while tears of awakening comes out of my eyes as i tell you this, i have to be aware of my breath as it goes in , hold, out, hold and the beingness associated with it...
11:54am
june roca
so that it will not be complicated for me and to assist me in birthing me, i devised a way it will be simpler for me
11:56am
june roca
as i breath in i am aware of me and as i breath out i embrace all life...That's as simple as i can see it done, for now anyway.
11:57am
june roca
so as i am writing, this, and awed by the total experience, i had to be aware of my breathing and answer any questions and do tasks i am being asked to do.
11:59am
june roca
One of the masters i studied from before, talked about detachment. This is similar just that we have to get everything in its proper perspective.
12:00pm
june roca
From the point of view of me being all life in its totality, i think simply, what it means is having different beingnesses while watching you doing that and not getting lost in any one beingness in any moment...
12:02pm
june roca
That's having a beingness of infinity, that is so mind blowing.
12:03pm
june roca
I hear all masters and their philisophies but i make sure i don't loose my own grasp of my own truth....it just occured to me...this maybe a transcendence at this point...
12:05pm
june roca
Those masters i have studied from in the past are me as them in that beingness. What i forgot to do in the past is rather than see the truth of that, i got lost because i am not watching both me and the Master
12:07pm
june roca
I actually got lost in adopting my own beingness as June, thereby being separate from the Master, i aspire to be that Master
12:08pm
june roca
See...because i adopted one beingness, me as June, i was viewing it in separation from the Master, so i only got part of the truth...
12:10pm
june roca
hmmmmm, .......if i was watching then, watching me as the Master and me as June, then i would get the whole truth of that experience
12:12pm
june roca
The truth is if i will be in that situation again listening to the master,
12:14pm
june roca
I would have a different perspective of the truth because i viewed it from different beingnesses so i would not be attached to his words nor his being but in awareness of that moment be awed by me in that beingness etc.
12:16pm
june roca
To put it simply experiencing infinity moment to moment while being awed by nothing but the experience of you as all....till later....must check out for now....thanks for being....
12:18pm
june roca
Reality check:I will have to wash clothes for my mom and do another forgiveness list aloud....till then...
________________________________________________________________
Jan. 18, 2008
Excerpt (some were lost and were not saved)
so i will know if i am missing something about my awareness of myself as all expressions of life
9:40am
june roca
u know, when you experiment you do not want anything to influence the result of it
9:41am
june roca
I had to know if there is something more about myself that i had not been introduced to...i want to keep an open mind...experiment then form my conclusions after...
9:43am
june roca
I feel more aware of the air brushing my skin, where my hand goes, when i blink, my breathing as it goes in "i am", and when it pauses "infinity" and exhaling, " all expression of life “
9:45am
june roca
i am aware of my thoughts, where it goes...why it is there...the issues associated with it.
became apparent.
9:46am
june roca
i feel as if i am removing a software inside my body and wanting to know if there is really “me” there after everything had been removed.
9:47am
june roca
Because if there is...then the hypothesis that there is a software becomes possibly true...this is why i did this experiment
9:48am
june roca
you see i have pronounced myself and i feel that this is so in all honesty, that i experienced the higher states of muind where everything is one and the bliss associated with it...
9:50am
june roca
but knowing self-realization and the stories in the past, there are always surprises along the way..
9:51am
june roca
When i was a Christian, the highest feeling of oneness with Christ i know i have experienced, then i had a transcendence, i said to him in my prayers
9:52am
june roca
I don't want you to be burdened by putting all of our sins in your shoulders, i want to take responsibility for my actions from now on, but i always fall short
9:53am
june roca
I want to tell the truth but before i know it i have lied..
9:53am
june roca
Why cannot i control my own mind?
9:55am
june roca
Then i thought, i better go learn about my mind and how i can control my mind, so i learned meditation and did it for 29 years.
9:56am
june roca
I felt there were levels of bliss i experienced, first, a feeling of silence, then, bliss, then, oneness with all that is in my meditation. The time I got out of that meditative sate is another story.
9:57am
june roca
When i look at what i learned and what i had become after that, i have to say, that got me through life unscathed
9:59am
june roca
without it , i cannot have survived life with sanity and bliss guiding me in my trying moments
10:00am
june roca
That was actually the reason why i started this group of universal love and peace 2012
10:01am
june roca
In my meditation it was perfect, but the world is upside down, i can't equate it
10:02am
june roca
with the reality i experience in my meditation. Starting the group, i was hoping we could manifest that reality in my meditation into this world
10:04am
june roca
and if what it takes is intending it, i am willing to do that and do what needs to be done to manifest that reality
10:05am
june roca
i am sure others are also ready to do that
10:06am
june roca
but i thought, to make it last, i will have to include the universal family, because that is real Oneness
10:07am
june roca
I know there will be surprises, and i am ready for anything, i maen i am willing to confront it.
10:09am
june roca
One of the areas where i think i will get the biggest surprise of all is the other beings in the universe. How am i gonna talk to them about universal love and peace?
10:10am
june roca
Of course i thought somehow, i will cross the bridge when i get there
10:11am
june roca
Here i am 2 years later, i am not getting messages delivered by a flying saucer but messages from the interdimensional portal about our thoughts affecting their existence there because of the "omnipresence" set up of the dimension.
10:13am
june roca
The question is, are we just going to brush this aside or take it with a grain of salt and do something about it?
10:14am
june roca
What they are asking us to do is focus on our breathing and not participate on the thoughts because
10:15am
june roca
the refractions ( past thoughts on fears, emotions that gete activated associated with our thogths now lodged in the dna and cells) of our thoughts affects them!
10:18am
june roca
This is the bombshell that hit me. What if this is true?
10:18am
june roca
If we truly care about the beings in the dimensions, we should, consider, and listen...and if what they are asking us to do is doable, we should consider their request....
10:21am
june roca
The only thing that we will lost anway is our thoughts which we don't need anyway , and which we try to get past through in our meditation, then why don't we consider their request?
10:23am
june roca
One thing we will find if we do this is whether they are telling us the truth or not and we can visit the dimension ourselves, now that it is open (after we work on our thought) then we will find out the truth
10:25am
june roca
That's what we want isn't it? Find out the truth, ourselves!!!
10:26am
june roca
Okay. Let's go back to my experiment...
10:27am
june roca
Yesterday, i did about 50 or more self-forgiveness for thoughts coming up from analyzing the situation in the past through fears and judgements etc...
10:29am
june roca
A question arose...If they were there, how come i was not aware of them then? I am aware of only one thing then, and that is whether or not that blissful feeling was there or not and replenishing it when it was depleted...
10:31am
june roca
I am so pre-occupied with that i am not aware of my other thoughts and when they come up moment to moment and why?
10:32am
june roca
The key then is awareness, and it can only happen without thoughts. I also did the open eyed Zen meditation where there is breath awareness
10:35am
june roca
That was also emptying my mind with thoughts , that is good. The new thing about this self-forgiveness and breath awareness experiment is that to do it i will have to raise my level of confront (look without flinching) , self-honesty and self responsibility
10:38am
june roca
self-responsibility, that is. It seems like its getting us into the Beingness of who we really are....big in scope, that includes, interacting with the life essence within all elements and lifeforms here and in the dimensions...
10:42am
june roca
Sound a big thing, but in this simple process that i am experimenting on right now, lies the possibility of us having a truly universal family, interacting and supporting one another to bring heaven on earth where oneness and equality as all life essence is
10:46am
june roca
Question is: Do we want to take this opportunity presented before us or just brush it off and wait for a shift without realizing that the shift will happen within us, not tomorrow but NOW?
10:48am
june roca
Will we sit on our laurels, or consider this proposition?
10:49am
june roca
I don't sit on any proposition that comes my way, i evaluate the logic behind it, whether or not it will get me to realize my goal , if it will, i evaluate the risk involved, and if its doable and its a calculated risk, and it has the possibility
10:52am
june roca
of getting me nearer my goal, i just try it by doing it. This is the way i know something is true or not, just trusting my own truth from my own experience
10:54am
june roca
Today, i am more aware of the silence around me whiile alone, the inherent knowingness of the awareness that comes after the thoughts are gone, and reclaiming me as one with and experiencing all life essences
11:03am
june roca
that will inspire me throughout this process
11:04am
june roca
till then...
January 19, 2008
9:33am
june roca
Welcome to all that's here...
9:34am
june roca
Yesterday, i was at wholefoods and i was watching myself as i become aware of my breathing and how i see things and people. Is there anything different today? I just want to know if there's progress somewhere, you know...
9:36am
june roca
i felt i can hear more sounds, my sense of smell became more heightened, There is a sense of calmness i never had before...its like there is silence around and within me and i see people within that space
9:39am
june roca
and that space is within myself.
9:44am
june roca
Before i did this experiment, i would be blissful and if i go to wholefoods, and speak to people i would greet them with that blissful energy in me but it is them and me, rather than me as them, that makes a lot of difference.
9:46am
june roca
When i greet people now, i focus first (not always, but that's what i told myself to do and it works when i do it), then i breathe in as "i am" and pause as "infinity" and exhale "i am all life', then i speak as i speak to myself of my own truth
9:51am
june roca
That is magical. I can even hear myself and be amazed at the truth behind those words.
9:53am
june roca
When i communicated with people working with the interdimensional realm, they would give me a message from the dimension and it would sound like i am me speaking
9:54am
june roca
in the letter, that is. It felt like the truth came from within my being and was being relayed back to me, that's fascinating
10:02am
june roca
I've heard a lot of gurus talk before and that's very inspiring. Sometimes i felt like they know wjhat i was thinking and they know my question and in their talk they would give me the answer,. This is cool, but it was the guru giving me an answer
10:04am
june roca
It is not me in the Guru giving me the answer. It may sound like its the same to most of you but when you experience it, you will know it is very different...fascinating.
10:06am
june roca
If i change my beingness, my experience change with it. Let us look at my experience. I was coming from the point of view that i am the devotee or the follower then, so there is separation there.Now, with this breathing,, because its moment to moment,
10:10am
june roca
the guru as me is giving me as him the answer. What this breathing does is, in that moment of breath, i experience 2 beingnesses as one and the 2 experiences become 1 experience
10:13am
june roca
without the breath awareness and the ideation that i am all life, it will just be in theory that we are one.
10:14am
june roca
I remembered before i was taught to say the mantra (sanskrit word as sound which means i am one with everything, which expandss the mind) before every action.
10:16am
june roca
That was helpful to see that i am one with everything, but without the breath awareness, it is only my experience of me as me
10:18am
june roca
Why is that? Because in the moment, you shared that breathe with all and at that moment you became All, so that you touch into each others beingness, your experience becomes his and his becomes yours. Transcendence at this point.
10:20am
june roca
Till then...
I was in my mom's house on thursday and my dad did not like the idea of my resigning in my job, leaving me without work (somehow that does not ring true because i work in the computer doing this about 8 hours a day or more plus the housework, organizing and laundry all day and i feel i have lots of work being done on my computer etc.)
12:26pm
june roca
june roca
I mean my Dad did not like the idea of me not working
12:27pm
june roca
june roca
i don't blame him nor anyone who would have taht reality. I myself did not think it's a good idea from the "commonsense" point of view
12:28pm
june roca
june roca
Well, after working all my life, one day i froze at my office when i was doing overtime and an awakening just enveloped my whole being.i reached the point i could not hide from my own truth...tis is not my purpose in life!I know what it is,
12:32pm
june roca
june roca
I know that what i am doing now, is my mission in life, i mean this project on the Universal Family working together as one as all expressions of life
12:34pm
june roca
june roca
so, i did resign and talked with my partner on what is involved. I will do all household chres, laundry etc. and instead of paying someone to do it , i will do it in exchange of hm supporting me
12:36pm
june roca
june roca
while i do my mission in life....this project, you know..He panicked, but he agreed.
12:37pm
june roca
june roca
He made a written agreement with me in the beginning of our relationship that this relationship will be founded on us working towards realizing our common goal
12:39pm
june roca
june roca
which as of 4 yrs. ago, enlightenment or knowing ourselves as in self-realization.
12:39pm
june roca
june roca
Actually, this was my idea. Both of us had previous relationships which ended both founded on "love" and attraction. Those did not succeed so i told him, i will agree for us to get together
12:41pm
june roca
june roca
if we will help each other attain that common goal. I thought at that time, that was right.That relationships survive on that basis
12:43pm
june roca
june roca
slf-realization of each partner in the relationship, as both help self, they help the other also.
12:45pm
june roca
june roca
I told him that we will live a lie if i will be working in the office for 8 hrs. and devote 2 hrs. a week towards the realization of our goal...that is not logical
12:47pm
june roca
june roca
so i am devoting my time towards this project, nothing else. In the process i will stop me from doing something opposite my goal.
12:50pm
june roca
june roca
i asked my mom onetime what her goal is, at 75 she said the reason for life is to find it
12:51pm
june roca
june roca
at that point i knew i had to find mine and work for it befor its too late. So, my Dad in the meantime had this high regard for my abilities and talent. I am his favorite daughter.
12:52pm
june roca
june roca
He told me to apply for a job and get one. I kept quiet, with my breath awareness experiment, I was watching myself on how i reacted to what he says
12:54pm
june roca
june roca
There was absolutely no part of me that wanted to react to what he said, no part of me that feels "i want to be right".
12:55pm
june roca
june roca
that's amazing, because in the past, even while i am in bliss, i would keep quiet but some parts of me wanted to say something in response.
12:57pm
june roca
june roca
That was not perfect though because i noticed i am not aware of my breathing in every moment at that time, so i quickly went to do just that.
12:58pm
june roca
june roca
That is tough. But soon i will be able to get everything right. I know there's an improvement and as i do this experiment, i will be seeing more challenges, more breakthroughs and get it done perfectly soon.
1:01pm
june roca
june roca
right now i know that i am totally vulnerable. First i am telling you me as i am and i know wheni do that i will be open to criticism and judgements.
1:04pm
june roca
june roca
But you know what, i had that in the past even when i wasn't as open, so who cares about that now? I don't. All i care about is me expressing myself as who i really am, so i can birth myself and in the process bith you...
1:07pm
june roca
june roca
i mean birth you also as who you really are in all its applications
1:08pm
june roca
june roca
I cannot teach you smething in theory, i have to just be who i really am, and you as me be who you really are...
_______________________________________
January 21, 2008
9:10am
I was about to give up yesterday. I was watching a show on TV on Mother and Daughter Title (i don't exactly know the title, but they had sashes on as vying of a tiltle of maybe Ms. America Mother and Daughter beauty contest),
9:15am
Anyway, there was this speech contest for each participant and the moment came where the loser will be announced. Well, they are given a scissor where they would cut their own sashes and they ended up not cutting it, instead they ran backstage instead
9:17am
The camera followed them and they said "we will always be our own beauty queens, there's no way they will take that away from me.
9:18am
The judges position was that "that's the reason why they were not selected. A beauty queen has to be able to accept defeat graciously."
9:19am
Normally, i would just reason like ...that's a play of life, that's their stuff so i bless them...that's their own evolution. But now that i am doing this experiment on breath awareness and self-forgiveness,
9:23am
i looked at the situation and i know that that rejection they got from the judges would trigger a lot of issues within themselves. That was not justified for the sake of this "reality show",
9:29am
Then i went to the bathroom and while i was thinking this i noticed my issues on rejection had been restimulated so i felt little bit down, but noticed before this experiment, i used to not feel this feeling .
9:33am
Why am i feeling this now? then i asked myself 'Am i aware of my breathing right now? No, i am not. I thought "this is ridiculous. How am i going to function with these things in my mind. My issues plus others issues plus my breathing etc. Before this experiment, everything was simple.
9:36am
I just meditate at night and it is gone. I am my blissful self again. This is ridiculous. when i was about to decide to stop doing this experiment, i remembered the "self-forgiveness " part of the experiment, so i immediately went and I did it.
9:40am
I thought, if this feeling will go away, i will continue with my experiment, but if not i will stop this stupid process.
9:41am
Well, unfortunately, or fortunately, i felt better after the "self-forgiveness" i spoke aloud. The exact words i used is at the end of this blog.
9:42am
I then realized, that there might be some truth in this experiment because if what i was thinking was the mind and i actually am stopping he mind when i do "self-forgiveness" at the same time taking self--resp[onsibility and owning up to
9:47am
being part of the mind by allowing it wiithin me to function, it made a lot of sense. There is a big possibility that i am not my very own thoughts. I might just be really the breath and my sense perception of reality through my 5 senses and any feeling
9:50am
and emotions i have is made by the mind with me allowing the mind to do what it does. Transcendence at this point. Everytime i have a transcendence my senses become more sensitive as if i am more awake to everything, this is different from the bliss
9:53am
i experienced before, this is more like going outside ad feeling the sun touching your skin...it is the sun and you having an intimate moment as you feel each other as one at that particular moment. Wow!!!what an awareness....
9:55am
reality check: will just dry my laundry and some stuff, then i will be back...
9:56am
I had to come back and tell you one very important thing before i leave, and that is what i said as my self-forgiveness statement
10:00am
The statement is: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel rejection and all thoughts associated with it.
10:01am
I release and delete these thoughts and any thoughts associated with those thoughts in the past, now and n the future (considering timelessness etc.) from my dna, cells and all parts of my body and any thought not in alignment with me as one as all
10:03am
expressions of life in its totality including its refractions (associations with thoughts in the past that is being restimulated now). I release all these thoughts NOW. So be it and so it is.
10:05am
9:46 pm
I actually read Jake's blog post about his cat and i found out that the message of the mouse to him from the desteni forum is the same as the issue i am facing and
i need to hear that same advice on being one or equal to the information i process or receive rather than with it or of it.. Transcendence at this point.
Till then...
JANUARY 22, 2008
9:15am
june roca
june roca
I am glad i visited Jake's blog yesterday, Jake is one f the younger generation member of this network and he is taking the challenge. He's got a blog at:www.afriendlydalek.blogspot.com
9:18am
june roca
june roca
This blog is about him doing his process of self-forgiveness and breathing awareness. I was reading yesterdays post of him chasing his cat who caught a bird with his mouth in his attempt to take responsibility and his realization
9:21am
june roca
june roca
The message was what is he doing to stop himself from living? He got a message from the dimensions that he needs to stop being a calculator processing information, but become the information or equal to it rather than with it or of it.
9:26am
june roca
june roca
I got a transcendence right there when i read that.I do exactly that. In experimenting this process, i would process information always.
9:29am
june roca
june roca
What the information meant compared to my past experience when i was meditating etc. Well, now that i know that i am one and equal to the information i process, how will i apply that in my daily life
9:31am
june roca
june roca
so while i am typing here, as i am breathing in, pausing, breathing out, pausing, i breath in as the information as me and me as the one typing, 2 beingnesses as one same breath in this moment, i am became one with the information.
9:36am
june roca
june roca
i mean i became one with the information in that moment. The difference is, i am more relaxed, i just let "me" flow and in so doing i am also watching "me" being aware of me.Fascinating.
9:39am
june roca
june roca
Before, i use to type in a blissful mood and i am wanting to transfer that blissful energy to everyone so they get infected with it.
9:40am
june roca
june roca
There is some separation there because of the "transference" from one to another while now it is just me experiencing me at the moment in the silence and rhythm of the breath in that moment.
9:42am
june roca
june roca
Before the transference was inspired by me feeling one with everyone, so i want to give the information to them and the blissful energy within me, but some separation exist in giving.
9:45am
june roca
june roca
My partner last night opened the fridge and pointed out some food that i have not served on the table while he noted it had been there for awhile. I initiated the agreement in the house that there will be no invalidation (making someone wrong).
9:49am
june roca
june roca
I have told him in the past to not do that because i feel invalidated when he does that since i am in charge of the kitchen, i should be left to decide in that matter.
9:50am
june roca
june roca
Anyway, i kept quiet, i wanted to "be right" at that point but i decided to look inside me and see what feelings will arise. I found the thought "why doesn't he listen?". In the silence of my breath, i turned to myself and asked myself
9:55am
june roca
june roca
What don't i listen to? It dawned on me that i don't sometimes listen to him,
10:00am
june roca
june roca
While i am writing this just this moment, thought of doing this self-forgiveness statement: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not listen to Jaganath and in what he had to say and not treating him as myself, as my equal,
10:03am
june roca
june roca
also for thinking of myself as more awakened than him spiritually. I relase and delete this thought together with other thoughts associated with them
10:06am
june roca
june roca
and the refractions (other thought vibrations awakened by ithem from the past) thereof right here right now, in the past and in the future. So be it, and so it is.
10:08am
june roca
june roca
I feel silence within after that process increased. My breathing became relaxed, my mind clearer and my senses are more aware . I can feel the air i breathe more, the chirping of the birds are more meaningful.
10:14am
june roca
june roca
I can feel the sun's rays as me touching me. Transcendence at this point.
JANUARY 23, 2008
une roca
My partner last night opened the fridge and pointed out some food that i have not served on the table while he noted it had been there for awhile. I initiated the agreement in the house that there will be no invalidation (making someone wrong).
9:49am
june roca
june roca
I have told him in the past to not do that because i feel invalidated when he does that since i am in charge of the kitchen, i should be left to decide in that matter.
9:50am
june roca
june roca
Anyway, i kept quiet, i wanted to "be right" at that point but i decided to look inside me and see what feelings will arise. I found the thought "why doesn't he listen?". In the silence of my breath, i turned to myself and asked myself
9:55am
june roca
june roca
What don't i listen to? It dawned on me that i don't sometimes listen to him,
10:00am
june roca
june roca
While i am writing this just this moment, thought of doing this self-forgiveness statement: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not listen to Jaganath and in what he had to say and not treating him as myself, as my equal,
10:03am
june roca
june roca
also for thinking of myself as more awakened than him spiritually. I relase and delete this thought together with other thoughts associated with them
10:06am
june roca
june roca
and the refractions (other thought vibrations awakened by ithem from the past) thereof right here right now, in the past and in the future. So be it, and so it is.
10:08am
june roca
june roca
I feel silence within after that process increased. My breathing became relaxed, my mind clearer and my senses are more aware . I can feel the air i breathe more, the chirping of the birds are more meaningful.
10:14am
june roca
june roca
I can feel the sun's rays as me touching me. Transcendence at this point.
10:15am
june roca
june roca
January 23, 2008
9:12am
june roca
june roca
Got to have a breakthrough today. My paln...
9:12am
june roca
june roca
My plan, i mean...
9:12am
june roca
june roca
i will do a 15 minutes "no thought" experiment.
9:13am
june roca
june roca
No one with me, i will be alone with my clock and do it. I will check out for about 30 minutes and will be back to tell you how it went...till then.
9:14am
june roca
june roca
i did it only for 2 minutes and with eyes closed. Will do it again later today.
10:48am
june roca
june roca
the self-forgiveness list or video i used http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo7cBloXBD0
11:05am
june roca
june roca
I did the self-forgiveness first then the "no thought" 2 minute breakthrough.
11:06am
june roca
june roca
felt nauseated after the self-forgiveness on deceit , am sure i felt sick of my self-deceit and selfcompromise that goes with it plus the fear. But guess what? I confronted those stuff already and am ready to apply self-responsibility for those
11:08am
june roca
june roca
in my daily life and that's a breakthrough for me. After the "no thought" experiment, i felt my senses can hear even the sound of silence...very pronounced. Fascinating. Am looking forward to the day i will be able to have no thought all day.
11:10am
june roca
june roca
I had a glimpse of what it will be like, its unexplainable. Its more experiencial...till then.
11:11am
January 24, 2008
6:39pm
i had a breakthrough today on the 30 minutes "no thought" experiment. As i was always in bliss in meditation before, i really did not know if i have thoughts or not, just didn't matter then
2:12am
june roca
june roca
now that i am doing the self-forgiveness process, i tried removing thoughts from my mind but in 2 hours of restarting again and again everytime a thought comes, i finally made a breakthrough.
2:14am
june roca
june roca
I did the 30 minutes "no thought " challenge " which i started at my other network: www.onenessandequalityaslife.ning.com
ANUARY 25, 2008
8:22am
june roca
june roca
WELCOME
8:22am
june roca
june roca
YESTERDAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR ME
8:23am
june roca
june roca
NOT ONLY DID I HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH DOING THE CLOSED EYED EXPERIMENT BUT ALSO WAS ABLE TO GO BEYOND MY SELF-DECEPTION OF ME PARTICIPATING IN THINGS I REALLY DID NOT AGREE WITH
8:25am
june roca
june roca
LET ME EXPLAIN, THE PERSON WHO IS COMING IN AND OUT OF THE DIMENSIONS AND BACK TO EARTH, LET'S CALL HIM B, IT'S JUST THAT HE DOES NOT PARTICIPATE IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN ONENESS AND EQUALITY . I SAID THIS BECAUSE WHEN I EMAIL HIM, I NOTICED HE DOES NOT
8:28am
june roca
june roca
SIGN HIS NAME AT THE END OF THE EMAIL. I FIGURED OUT IF I AM HIM AND HE IS ME, I DON'T REALLY NEED THE NAME, WELL AT LEAST WE SHARE THE SAME REALITY BECAUSE WE BOTH ARE AWARE OF THE MESSAGE FROM THE DIMENSIONS
8:30am
june roca
june roca
BACK TO WHERE I LEFT OFF
8:30am
june roca
june roca
I ALWAYS SAY BEFORE, BECAUSE I AM IN BLISS MOST OF THE TIME, THAT I DON'T HAVE FEARS, WELL, IN THAT STATE THOSE WORDS LIKE FEAR ETC. JUST IS INCONCEIVABLE
8:33am
june roca
june roca
UNCONCEIVABLE I MEAN
8:34am
june roca
june roca
BUT NOW THAT I AM DOING THIS EXPERIMENT AND NOT MEDITATING, I AM AWARE OF MY HIDDEN FEARS HIDING BEHIND THE BLISS .
8:35am
june roca
june roca
WELL MY FEAR, I DISCOVERED IS LETTING PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT ME , ALL OF ME, INCLUDING THE TRASH I FORGET I HAVE IN THE PAST . I WENT PAST THAT YESTERDAY
8:37am
june roca
june roca
I DECIDED I WILL TELL EVERY MEMBER OF THIS NETWORK ABOUT ONENESS AND EQUALITY AND SO I CHANGED EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED IN THE NETWORK INCLUDING ITS NAME
11:11am
june roca
june roca
FROM UNIVERSAL LOVE AND PEACE 2012 ONWARDS TO UNIVERSAL ONENESS AND EQUALITY - SOURCE OF REAL LOVE AND PEACE
11:12am
june roca
june roca
THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST SELF-DECEPTION BUSTERS IN MY LIFE HISTORY, BUT I DID IT AND I FELT THAT'S HONESTY IN ACTION.
11:13am
june roca
june roca
IT FELT LIKE I WAS COMITTING HARAKIRI, LIKE YOU COMMIT SUICIDE.
11:14am
june roca
june roca
I HAVE 163 PEOPLE LOOKING FORWARD FOR UNIV LOVE & PEACE BY 2012.......BUT THAT'S TRUTH IN ACTION...THAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I EVER DID FOR THE SAKE OF SELF-HONESTY
11:16am
june roca
june roca
AND GUESS WHAT? I THOUGHT, WELL IF THIS IS FRIGHTENING ENOUGH, LET'S CHALLENGE THAT FEAR EVEN MORE....SO I CHANGED THE WORDINGS OF THE DONATION PART OF MY SITE, FROM SOMETHING LIKE...LET YOUR LOVE FLOW ON DONATIONS ETC.
11:18am
june roca
june roca
TO WE WILL ACCEPT DONATIONS ONLY FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE STANDING UP FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE AND DOING THE SELF-FORGIVENESS PROCESS
11:19am
june roca
june roca
ONE BIG LESSON I LEARNED HERE IS FACE FEAR IN THE FACE....FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY. ...I REALLY DIDN'T HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO LOOSE, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE, BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING....THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED LIVING SIMPLY IN THIS WORLD HELPS
11:22am
june roca
june roca
HAD A HIGH AFTER THAT...MY 30 MIN. "NO THOUGHT" CLOSED EYES EXPERIENCE PLUS THAT MADE MY DAY. YESTERDAY.
11:23am
june roca
june roca
TODAY, I REALIZED THERE'S MORE TO DO....MORE CHALLENGES TO FACE. ..VERY IMPORTANT POINT FOR ME IS BEING GROUNDED IN THIS JOURNEY. TAKING SHOWER IN THE MORNING, CLEANING HOUSE, HEALTHY FOOD, ADJUSTING SELF WITH THE WORLD AND RELATIONSHIPS
11:27am
june roca
june roca
ITS IN THEORY IMPOSSIBLE, BECAUSE ITS 2 DIFFERENT WORLDS I AM FUNCTIONING IN, BUT I FELT LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS MEDITATING AND ACHIEVING BLISS , WHAT HELPED ME REACH THE TOP THERE IS BEING GROUNDED...TILL THEN...
ne roca
January 28, 2008
12:16pm
june roca
june roca
i apologize for me not being here this morning at 9 AM.
7:50pm
june roca
june roca
Afrter the 30 minute, closed eyes, no hought challenge, i did the 45 minutes, closed eyes, lying down no thought experiment and i was able to to it.
7:52pm
june roca
june roca
The blogs on these are posted in the forum section.
7:52pm
june roca
june roca
There was a bit of struggle with making my mind steady as i assume 2 beingnesses. One, as breath without the body, another as breath with a body.
7:54pm
june roca
june roca
To keep my balance and be grounded, i did the stabilizing actions like taking a shower, cooking, cleaning, breathing exercises, pilates and yoga stretches plus qi gong breathing.
7:56pm
june roca
june roca
I became anger when i felt threatened by instability as i stay in balance. The programs in the body is starting to thave a bug. It can't handle data of the life essence assuming multiple beingnesses. What can you expect it is just a program...
8:00pm
june roca
june roca
I started to give a directive to the program and take control just like rambo face to face with his enemies.
8:02pm
june roca
june roca
With me, i am trying to assume the beingness as the life essence and at the same time making the program aware....
8:04pm
june roca
june roca
At this point, i would like to answer the quetion, why self-forgiveness? Well, because programs cannot do the self-forgiveness. Second, it is actually taking self-responsibility as all life.
8:05pm
june roca
june roca
Watch the word used here, it is not taking responsibility for all life which is you separated from all life but, you taking responsibility as all life, wthout separartion, but in oneness.
8:07pm
june roca
june roca
My experience doing the 45 minutes "no thought breathing challenge is fascinating. I experienced myself as air swimming in space not just looking but with hands and feet able to stretch myself infinitely.
8:10pm
june roca
june roca
I saw small orange lights flickering with the sound oneness and equality as all life.
8:11pm
june roca
june roca
The experience is not passive, expansive but active and dynamic where i am so aware of me participating...WOW!!!!!!
8:12pm
june roca
june roca
Question is How good does it get? If this is 45 minutes "no thought" experience , then how would the experience be of all day "no thought" experience? I can just see myself at that point in my evolution, Fascinating stuff!!!!!
8:16pm
june roca
june roca
Till then...
January 29, 2008
I just did post blogs at: www.onegoalinc.ning.com/forum
January 30,2008
9:53am
june roca
june roca
I had been experimenting on my breath and it's just fascinating...
9:55am
june roca
june roca
I have something to say about last Sunday. My partner and me attended the yoga group meditation that i had bee part of for 29 years. My friends were there of course
9:57am
june roca
june roca
I already know what i will do, so at the meditation part, i just meditated on my breath....that was good. At the chanting part, which is singing some songs which means "love is all there is ", I used "Oneness and equality as all" in mine
9:59am
june roca
june roca
we use sanskrit words so lit's easy. But after that and we were all eating vegetarian food and after that, i can't keep my mouth shut, of course!
10:01am
june roca
june roca
so my friends, they are both husband and wife, was talking about what they would do when there would be a lot of calamities in this world
10:03am
june roca
june roca
they were talking about how the master or guru would save them
10:04am
june roca
june roca
The husband said he is on the masterlist of the master and the wife said she thinkshe can just go to the commune that the master delegated as safe and be safe there.
10:05am
june roca
june roca
I said well it's easy for me, i can just breath and in one moment be out of my body, if i don't like to stay and in one breath i can be in my body if i like to come back
10:07am
june roca
june roca
the wife said well not anyone will be like you. I said yes of course it is a choice.
10:08am
june roca
june roca
Before that, they were talking about how the master is helping them today when they call to him, his name is Baba which means beloved. and he already died last 1991
10:09am
june roca
june roca
I said to them "Baba is you", and he even said that. God is us. I said where is he right now? He already merged with all , as per his philosophy. So why will you keep calling him? He is YOU!
10:11am
june roca
june roca
Anyway, the wife of my friend said we still have to realize that, what she meant was she is not yet God, she will have to do the practice to be God. I can see their eyes sort of move from one side to the next. I knew they wanted to react
10:13am
june roca
june roca
but kept it to themselves. All along my partner was hearing all this, and he can see what i am doing. I can already feel that he is trying to diffuse the tension by talking about other subject
10:17am
june roca
june roca
Well, when we are alone in the car , he told me i don't respect my friends by saying what i am saying and that they respect me and the reason why they cannot say anything is because i am their friend. he became angry
10:19am
june roca
june roca
I tried saying something but he will not hear me so i just kept quiet and let him burst out his frustration.
10:20am
june roca
june roca
the next day, i gave him a piece of paper, i call it a "Happiness Recovery Sheet"
10:21am
june roca
june roca
I introduced this one before and had been using this when i see something he had done that is unethical . What is written there is who did the unethical act, what he did, when, and that it is not okay.
10:23am
june roca
june roca
Also written there is who wrote it and what he violated as per the agreement we had when we started being together.
10:24am
june roca
june roca
so, the night he came back from work, he was feeling okay and calm, so i gave it to him. I then explained to him the importance of telling others what you think is true, no matter how painful it sounds or feels. I said to him, if i were the master
10:27am
june roca
june roca
i would come back and scold them for asking me to save them when i already told them they are the GOD!
10:28am
june roca
june roca
He agreed, then he said but you should not tell them this bluntly. I said i did not tell them they were wrong, i wasa just stating a fact that might wake them up. So, he accepted what i said . Then i said to him, look, You are the God,
10:30am
june roca
june roca
whether you like it or not, no one can save you but you.
10:30am
june roca
june roca
Till then...
January 31, 2008
9:28am
june roca
june roca
i feel good today, more in control of my body. Yesterday my head was still feeling a little bit heavy so i did not do any self-forgiveness lists so today i plan to do about 10
9:31am
june roca
june roca
let' see what happens...
9:31am
june roca
june roca
I did a blog today on "Why i as all organize? My self-expression as me as all"
9:32am
june roca
june roca
initially i wrote "why i need to organize"...but considering my new beingness, of oneness and equality, the "need" part doesn't sound like i am one and equal with the word "organize"
9:34am
june roca
june roca
so i just made it "why i as all organize?" I felt okay with that, that sounds more me as one and equal as all
9:35am
june roca
june roca
these are little things i am now aware of, it just makes a lot of difference applying what i accepted as my new beingness in my writings
9:36am
june roca
june roca
my message in that post is that as i am taking self-responsibility, having issues coming out and nausea , disorientation etc from the stuff that i am confronting now considering what i have allowed in this world
9:39am
june roca
june roca
i am joy and celebration. This is me expressing myself in celebration of the fact that i am now taking self-responsibility, finally!
9:40am
june roca
june roca
and i intend to do it in joy and celebration. I will support myself as all in stabilizing myself in a body with a "system" and celebrate as i purge one beingness and assume a new beingness, that of oneness as all expressions of life
9:42am
june roca
june roca
Another one i would blog about today is Freedom . I want to express myself as me as all my self-expressions which are my beingnesses (or identities) in all .
9:44am
june roca
june roca
I see Freedom as being able to express yourself in multiple beingnesses in harmony with my other beingnesses (as i am also you, my clothes, my mom, my daughter, matter, information etc.
9:46am
june roca
june roca
pretty challenging, but doable. Will do some practical organizational outline of how everything will fall into place.
9:48am
june roca
june roca
it will be evolving as me as you evolve so enjoy the ride. 'till then...
while i am in the computer chatting, i am watching my in breath , pause , outbreath, pause....
9:28am
its kinda tricky typing and doing things in my computer while i watch my breath .
10:02am
une roca
i had tried to keep it there, i mean my focus on my breath, sometimes i succeed sometimes not, but what worked for me is ...its like i am hearing the faint sound of my breath like a soft music, while i do my daily work schedule.
10:05am
june roca
more like a soft sound of my favorite music playing in the background that inspires me moment to moment
10:06am
june roca
when a thought comes, i acknowledge it with a nod and whispering to the thought i don't need you here.
10:09am
june roca
then i whisper to myself, i forgive myself for allowing this thought to be here.
10:10am
june roca
when i try so hard, i fail. it creates more tension
10:11am
june roca
but when i do it with the beingness as a creator of my reality, with awareness of all as me as equal as life in its totality, i feel whole, happy and content.
10:13am
june roca
right now, i will read the self-forgiveness list aloud with the same beingness , then see what happens....
10:15am
will be back at 10:45
10:25am
june roca
i just had a crying moment there as i did the self-forgiveness list. ...i must admit i didn't know some parts of me that i thought i knew.
10:56am
june roca
the link for the self-forgiveness list i was doing is: http://desteni.co.za/osho/veno23.htm
10:58am
june roca
it was important for me to watch my breathing while i read the list aloud and that i do it from the beingness of me as an expression of life in its totality and with no preconceived notion of me as who i am as my ego otherwise i will blow the whole proces
11:01am
june roca
i will stay here until 12 noon. i am not finished with the process yet
11:02am
june roca
that was my break from crying...it was a relief , iby the way, the paragraph that touched my ego the most that made me cry is the 16th paragraph from the bottom
11:06am
june roca
i will continue through the list until the end and will be back soon...
11:08am
june roca
having a crying break again....then will be back to give you my experience and my realizations for i am doing this as me and as you as all manifestations of life on earth....
11:24am
june roca
back to the list...will be back soon. i want to do maybe 2 lists today so i will have to extend my time online and be available . will be back soon...
11:26am
june roca
just forgot to say a very important point: when i read the list i thought some of it is not real to me but i just went through it anyway: my realization is that the conscious mind we have is not all we are: the other parts of the mind (subconscious & unconscious) will have to be accessed, but it is inaccessible because we are just aware of the conscious part in our waking moments.
11:32am
june roca
so when i just read the list without judgments, i made my whole self available so i accessed parts of me that is in grief, remorse etc. that was inaccesble to me when i am conscious..that is my biggest win at this point. that was where the transcendence happened.
11:35am
june roca
more to come...i am open for more...its like opening myself to me bit by bit until the total revelation comes....will be back soon after reading more of the list aloud
11:37am
june roca
i just finished my list just now while eating and crying in between. I am now starting male ego self-forgiveness list. The one i finished is the female ego self-forgiveness list. See you soon...
3:42pm
june roca
i finished 3 lists yesterday. After that my mind became very quiet even as i watch myself talking with someone.
11:37am
june roca
today as i talk to my neighbor, normally i would react to what she says but today i was looking at her while i am listening and noticed how she really looks and her gestures.
11:38am
june roca
she is an old lady and normally i would just listen to the idea that she wants to convey but today, i saw a childlike part of her and i smiled within me in joy just seeing that in her
11:40am
june roca
then as i was walking past my plants, i sort of said hello how are you feeling as me as i am all as life being a plant?
11:41am
june roca
as i fold my laundry, i put myself inside that purple towel and sort of felt how it is as me as an expression of all that is feeling being a towel?
11:43am
june roca
As i touched my computer keys yesterday, i sort of gave it a "communicating touch" sort of saying i understand how you feel as me there and i am proud that you are being used in helping me and others as you become aware of life that is us....
11:46am
june roca
somehow, life has more to it than just what i have to do to pay bills and clean and innovations i have to do in my website
11:49am
june roca
right now i am communicating to you as me as you as all expressions of life
11:49am
june roca
while of course the soft sound of my breath...breating in, pause, breathing out pause like soft music in the background having the rhytm of alll life, birds chirping, plants just being, shoes just being, printer just being with me as them
11:52am
june roca
i have to sign out for a moment to read another set of self-f forgiveness list aloud. After i finish them i will do my own
11:54am
june roca
will share with you what i have made for myself
11:54am
june roca
this must be self-honesty in action. It's not as scary as i think after all...i have thought of stopping because i cried a lot yesterday but i want to know if i can find out more of myself, especially the part i don't know yet.
11:56am
june roca
talk to you soon maybe 2 pm ..thanks for being!
11:57am
june roca
I apologize. Will chat later tonight. Have not finished the list and am looking at some very important articles/ Chow!
2:47pm
june roca
i still want to understand where does the power of being one as all expression of life. As i read some articles and looked at reasons why that is so i realized that something or someone cannot have power over me if i have that stand
8:17pm
june roca
where does the power come from? That's what i was gonna say
8:18pm
june roca
Aside from the above reason, i am coming from a true identity of me so there's no self deception therefore my ethics presence is there when i say it
8:20pm
june roca
therefore i have more conviction...more power!
8:21pm
june roca
i am also taking responsibility for me rather than depending on someone higher than me so the ability to create the desired outcome is within my power and control.
8:23pm
june roca
more realizations tomorrow. By the way, i also had doubts creeping in my mind as i do it. I just apply self-forgiveness as mentioned and go on. I vowed to finish the list.
8:24pm
june roca
Then, i will be able to go on with the experiment with an open mind rather than with judgements.
8:26pm
june roca
Then i will not affect the results of the experiment. Till tomorrow
January 17, 2008
june roca
Yesterday, i had to do self-forgiveness about 40 times or more. It is kinda tricky but i am just fascinated by the connection i have with everything.....that i treasure the most....i have said i am connected with everyone and i accept that as my truth.
10:31am
june roca
Before in theory i am but now that i am trying this breath awareness , i am just fascinated by the simplicity of it.
10:44am
june roca
I mean before i accepted the fact that we are all connected and i honor the plants , well my plants specifically, bless them, talked to them before
10:51am
june roca
But i really am oblivious of the trees i pass by as i walk down the street. I would either be in bliss because of the effects of my mediation or just singing my "mantra" (sanskrit word used to calm my mind. The sound of it means i am one with everything)
10:55am
june roca
The difference is now, i am breathing in as me and breathing out connecting with nature
10:56am
june roca
that's in every moment, so in essence i am living moment to moment and that itself is me experiencing me, not the mantra and its meaning but experiencing life
10:58am
june roca
as it is. Without other sounds in between us. I remembered the movie celestine prophecy.
11:00am
june roca
When you watch the clip (look at the group, Movie and Universal Love"
11:01am
june roca
This morning i went out and looked at the sun, normally, i would look at it as in sungaze, you know, and i would be amazed by the energy it gives out so i would say, good morning. Thank you for being here to give me this warmth.
11:03am
june roca
Now, when i saw the sun this morning, i when i breathed in i felt me as the sun as its warmth you know . I experienced both my beingness and the sun's within me.
11:07am
june roca
It's as if someone plucked my eyebrows and grown it back again. That is experiencing it in an awreness of self
11:10am
june roca
For it to be real to you, i would put the difference as similar to growing your own hair and having it cut and growing it again
11:11am
june roca
compared to putting on a wig that you absolutely love and treasure and removing it before going to bed and putting it back on again in the morning
11:12am
june roca
Both experiences are connected to your affinity to everything around you
11:13am
june roca
But experiencing it in 2 different ways. One is total awareness as the hair grows moment by moment and the other one, experincing something you have affinity with but the awareness is not moment to moment but there is a moment of separation in the other
11:16am
june roca
there is no grand drama, but you are awed by you....and that is just mind blowing.....
11:17am
june roca
I went to my mom this morning to do some things for her and i was expecting this pocess to be very difficult in there because she and my dad have a totaly different perspective on things. Before, i just keep quiet while inside i bless them
11:27am
june roca
When i went in the door, immediately i put on my beingness as me as all life so now i am watching me speak as she speaks, well i did not expect to see her in a different light, i sort of smiled inside,.
11:30am
june roca
she is not separate from who i am at that moment in fact it felt like watching myself do things and speak like she does.
11:31am
june roca
Rather than from the awareness of me as a being that is more aware than her and blessing her wherever she is coming from, i am now watching me as her speak....ias i watch her speak, i get to know more of me
11:34am
june roca
and the different ways i express myself rather than from her being her and me being me point of view and accepting the different way we express ourselves.
11:35am
june roca
wow!!!that's a revelation....
11:35am
june roca
Now, let me give you a reality check, after this experience or while i am having this experience, i am looking at my breath and if i am still aware of my breath as i am aware of me being other beingnesses. That's multi tasking,
11:37am
june roca
This process is an experiencial one . The experience i just told you , i will not be having if i did not jump into the process and do it.
11:40am
june roca
In the beginning, i looked at the articles of the people who had done this and are now travelling from dimension to dimension to here and back again, by the way, one of them is a member of our network...
11:41am
june roca
While i was reading, i thought this will be easy , why will it take them 2-7 years maximum? I will try to get there in less time.
11:43am
june roca
Good intention and enthusiasm . That's me . Well, now as i am doing the process, i understand the intricacies of the whole experience.
11:44am
june roca
Now, i realize that really its not when i will get to the goal, but the experience of getting there in total awareness that matters.
11:45am
june roca
In fact i think that is the goal of all goals
11:47am
june roca
The awareness of the experience of what happens while experiencing you as all all life and how you as all be, do and have.
11:48am
june roca
When i was learning yoga, the master says be the watcher. But i ask, who watches the watcher? You , the watcher in an infinite experience of you...
11:50am
june roca
wow! that's profound....but its simplicity still touches my being.
11:51am
june roca
Another reality check, while tears of awakening comes out of my eyes as i tell you this, i have to be aware of my breath as it goes in , hold, out, hold and the beingness associated with it...
11:54am
june roca
so that it will not be complicated for me and to assist me in birthing me, i devised a way it will be simpler for me
11:56am
june roca
as i breath in i am aware of me and as i breath out i embrace all life...That's as simple as i can see it done, for now anyway.
11:57am
june roca
so as i am writing, this, and awed by the total experience, i had to be aware of my breathing and answer any questions and do tasks i am being asked to do.
11:59am
june roca
One of the masters i studied from before, talked about detachment. This is similar just that we have to get everything in its proper perspective.
12:00pm
june roca
From the point of view of me being all life in its totality, i think simply, what it means is having different beingnesses while watching you doing that and not getting lost in any one beingness in any moment...
12:02pm
june roca
That's having a beingness of infinity, that is so mind blowing.
12:03pm
june roca
I hear all masters and their philisophies but i make sure i don't loose my own grasp of my own truth....it just occured to me...this maybe a transcendence at this point...
12:05pm
june roca
Those masters i have studied from in the past are me as them in that beingness. What i forgot to do in the past is rather than see the truth of that, i got lost because i am not watching both me and the Master
12:07pm
june roca
I actually got lost in adopting my own beingness as June, thereby being separate from the Master, i aspire to be that Master
12:08pm
june roca
See...because i adopted one beingness, me as June, i was viewing it in separation from the Master, so i only got part of the truth...
12:10pm
june roca
hmmmmm, .......if i was watching then, watching me as the Master and me as June, then i would get the whole truth of that experience
12:12pm
june roca
The truth is if i will be in that situation again listening to the master,
12:14pm
june roca
I would have a different perspective of the truth because i viewed it from different beingnesses so i would not be attached to his words nor his being but in awareness of that moment be awed by me in that beingness etc.
12:16pm
june roca
To put it simply experiencing infinity moment to moment while being awed by nothing but the experience of you as all....till later....must check out for now....thanks for being....
12:18pm
june roca
Reality check:I will have to wash clothes for my mom and do another forgiveness list aloud....till then...
________________________________________________________________
Jan. 18, 2008
Excerpt (some were lost and were not saved)
so i will know if i am missing something about my awareness of myself as all expressions of life
9:40am
june roca
u know, when you experiment you do not want anything to influence the result of it
9:41am
june roca
I had to know if there is something more about myself that i had not been introduced to...i want to keep an open mind...experiment then form my conclusions after...
9:43am
june roca
I feel more aware of the air brushing my skin, where my hand goes, when i blink, my breathing as it goes in "i am", and when it pauses "infinity" and exhaling, " all expression of life “
9:45am
june roca
i am aware of my thoughts, where it goes...why it is there...the issues associated with it.
became apparent.
9:46am
june roca
i feel as if i am removing a software inside my body and wanting to know if there is really “me” there after everything had been removed.
9:47am
june roca
Because if there is...then the hypothesis that there is a software becomes possibly true...this is why i did this experiment
9:48am
june roca
you see i have pronounced myself and i feel that this is so in all honesty, that i experienced the higher states of muind where everything is one and the bliss associated with it...
9:50am
june roca
but knowing self-realization and the stories in the past, there are always surprises along the way..
9:51am
june roca
When i was a Christian, the highest feeling of oneness with Christ i know i have experienced, then i had a transcendence, i said to him in my prayers
9:52am
june roca
I don't want you to be burdened by putting all of our sins in your shoulders, i want to take responsibility for my actions from now on, but i always fall short
9:53am
june roca
I want to tell the truth but before i know it i have lied..
9:53am
june roca
Why cannot i control my own mind?
9:55am
june roca
Then i thought, i better go learn about my mind and how i can control my mind, so i learned meditation and did it for 29 years.
9:56am
june roca
I felt there were levels of bliss i experienced, first, a feeling of silence, then, bliss, then, oneness with all that is in my meditation. The time I got out of that meditative sate is another story.
9:57am
june roca
When i look at what i learned and what i had become after that, i have to say, that got me through life unscathed
9:59am
june roca
without it , i cannot have survived life with sanity and bliss guiding me in my trying moments
10:00am
june roca
That was actually the reason why i started this group of universal love and peace 2012
10:01am
june roca
In my meditation it was perfect, but the world is upside down, i can't equate it
10:02am
june roca
with the reality i experience in my meditation. Starting the group, i was hoping we could manifest that reality in my meditation into this world
10:04am
june roca
and if what it takes is intending it, i am willing to do that and do what needs to be done to manifest that reality
10:05am
june roca
i am sure others are also ready to do that
10:06am
june roca
but i thought, to make it last, i will have to include the universal family, because that is real Oneness
10:07am
june roca
I know there will be surprises, and i am ready for anything, i maen i am willing to confront it.
10:09am
june roca
One of the areas where i think i will get the biggest surprise of all is the other beings in the universe. How am i gonna talk to them about universal love and peace?
10:10am
june roca
Of course i thought somehow, i will cross the bridge when i get there
10:11am
june roca
Here i am 2 years later, i am not getting messages delivered by a flying saucer but messages from the interdimensional portal about our thoughts affecting their existence there because of the "omnipresence" set up of the dimension.
10:13am
june roca
The question is, are we just going to brush this aside or take it with a grain of salt and do something about it?
10:14am
june roca
What they are asking us to do is focus on our breathing and not participate on the thoughts because
10:15am
june roca
the refractions ( past thoughts on fears, emotions that gete activated associated with our thogths now lodged in the dna and cells) of our thoughts affects them!
10:18am
june roca
This is the bombshell that hit me. What if this is true?
10:18am
june roca
If we truly care about the beings in the dimensions, we should, consider, and listen...and if what they are asking us to do is doable, we should consider their request....
10:21am
june roca
The only thing that we will lost anway is our thoughts which we don't need anyway , and which we try to get past through in our meditation, then why don't we consider their request?
10:23am
june roca
One thing we will find if we do this is whether they are telling us the truth or not and we can visit the dimension ourselves, now that it is open (after we work on our thought) then we will find out the truth
10:25am
june roca
That's what we want isn't it? Find out the truth, ourselves!!!
10:26am
june roca
Okay. Let's go back to my experiment...
10:27am
june roca
Yesterday, i did about 50 or more self-forgiveness for thoughts coming up from analyzing the situation in the past through fears and judgements etc...
10:29am
june roca
A question arose...If they were there, how come i was not aware of them then? I am aware of only one thing then, and that is whether or not that blissful feeling was there or not and replenishing it when it was depleted...
10:31am
june roca
I am so pre-occupied with that i am not aware of my other thoughts and when they come up moment to moment and why?
10:32am
june roca
The key then is awareness, and it can only happen without thoughts. I also did the open eyed Zen meditation where there is breath awareness
10:35am
june roca
That was also emptying my mind with thoughts , that is good. The new thing about this self-forgiveness and breath awareness experiment is that to do it i will have to raise my level of confront (look without flinching) , self-honesty and self responsibility
10:38am
june roca
self-responsibility, that is. It seems like its getting us into the Beingness of who we really are....big in scope, that includes, interacting with the life essence within all elements and lifeforms here and in the dimensions...
10:42am
june roca
Sound a big thing, but in this simple process that i am experimenting on right now, lies the possibility of us having a truly universal family, interacting and supporting one another to bring heaven on earth where oneness and equality as all life essence is
10:46am
june roca
Question is: Do we want to take this opportunity presented before us or just brush it off and wait for a shift without realizing that the shift will happen within us, not tomorrow but NOW?
10:48am
june roca
Will we sit on our laurels, or consider this proposition?
10:49am
june roca
I don't sit on any proposition that comes my way, i evaluate the logic behind it, whether or not it will get me to realize my goal , if it will, i evaluate the risk involved, and if its doable and its a calculated risk, and it has the possibility
10:52am
june roca
of getting me nearer my goal, i just try it by doing it. This is the way i know something is true or not, just trusting my own truth from my own experience
10:54am
june roca
Today, i am more aware of the silence around me whiile alone, the inherent knowingness of the awareness that comes after the thoughts are gone, and reclaiming me as one with and experiencing all life essences
11:03am
june roca
that will inspire me throughout this process
11:04am
june roca
till then...
January 19, 2008
9:33am
june roca
Welcome to all that's here...
9:34am
june roca
Yesterday, i was at wholefoods and i was watching myself as i become aware of my breathing and how i see things and people. Is there anything different today? I just want to know if there's progress somewhere, you know...
9:36am
june roca
i felt i can hear more sounds, my sense of smell became more heightened, There is a sense of calmness i never had before...its like there is silence around and within me and i see people within that space
9:39am
june roca
and that space is within myself.
9:44am
june roca
Before i did this experiment, i would be blissful and if i go to wholefoods, and speak to people i would greet them with that blissful energy in me but it is them and me, rather than me as them, that makes a lot of difference.
9:46am
june roca
When i greet people now, i focus first (not always, but that's what i told myself to do and it works when i do it), then i breathe in as "i am" and pause as "infinity" and exhale "i am all life', then i speak as i speak to myself of my own truth
9:51am
june roca
That is magical. I can even hear myself and be amazed at the truth behind those words.
9:53am
june roca
When i communicated with people working with the interdimensional realm, they would give me a message from the dimension and it would sound like i am me speaking
9:54am
june roca
in the letter, that is. It felt like the truth came from within my being and was being relayed back to me, that's fascinating
10:02am
june roca
I've heard a lot of gurus talk before and that's very inspiring. Sometimes i felt like they know wjhat i was thinking and they know my question and in their talk they would give me the answer,. This is cool, but it was the guru giving me an answer
10:04am
june roca
It is not me in the Guru giving me the answer. It may sound like its the same to most of you but when you experience it, you will know it is very different...fascinating.
10:06am
june roca
If i change my beingness, my experience change with it. Let us look at my experience. I was coming from the point of view that i am the devotee or the follower then, so there is separation there.Now, with this breathing,, because its moment to moment,
10:10am
june roca
the guru as me is giving me as him the answer. What this breathing does is, in that moment of breath, i experience 2 beingnesses as one and the 2 experiences become 1 experience
10:13am
june roca
without the breath awareness and the ideation that i am all life, it will just be in theory that we are one.
10:14am
june roca
I remembered before i was taught to say the mantra (sanskrit word as sound which means i am one with everything, which expandss the mind) before every action.
10:16am
june roca
That was helpful to see that i am one with everything, but without the breath awareness, it is only my experience of me as me
10:18am
june roca
Why is that? Because in the moment, you shared that breathe with all and at that moment you became All, so that you touch into each others beingness, your experience becomes his and his becomes yours. Transcendence at this point.
10:20am
june roca
Till then...
I was in my mom's house on thursday and my dad did not like the idea of my resigning in my job, leaving me without work (somehow that does not ring true because i work in the computer doing this about 8 hours a day or more plus the housework, organizing and laundry all day and i feel i have lots of work being done on my computer etc.)
12:26pm
june roca
june roca
I mean my Dad did not like the idea of me not working
12:27pm
june roca
june roca
i don't blame him nor anyone who would have taht reality. I myself did not think it's a good idea from the "commonsense" point of view
12:28pm
june roca
june roca
Well, after working all my life, one day i froze at my office when i was doing overtime and an awakening just enveloped my whole being.i reached the point i could not hide from my own truth...tis is not my purpose in life!I know what it is,
12:32pm
june roca
june roca
I know that what i am doing now, is my mission in life, i mean this project on the Universal Family working together as one as all expressions of life
12:34pm
june roca
june roca
so, i did resign and talked with my partner on what is involved. I will do all household chres, laundry etc. and instead of paying someone to do it , i will do it in exchange of hm supporting me
12:36pm
june roca
june roca
while i do my mission in life....this project, you know..He panicked, but he agreed.
12:37pm
june roca
june roca
He made a written agreement with me in the beginning of our relationship that this relationship will be founded on us working towards realizing our common goal
12:39pm
june roca
june roca
which as of 4 yrs. ago, enlightenment or knowing ourselves as in self-realization.
12:39pm
june roca
june roca
Actually, this was my idea. Both of us had previous relationships which ended both founded on "love" and attraction. Those did not succeed so i told him, i will agree for us to get together
12:41pm
june roca
june roca
if we will help each other attain that common goal. I thought at that time, that was right.That relationships survive on that basis
12:43pm
june roca
june roca
slf-realization of each partner in the relationship, as both help self, they help the other also.
12:45pm
june roca
june roca
I told him that we will live a lie if i will be working in the office for 8 hrs. and devote 2 hrs. a week towards the realization of our goal...that is not logical
12:47pm
june roca
june roca
so i am devoting my time towards this project, nothing else. In the process i will stop me from doing something opposite my goal.
12:50pm
june roca
june roca
i asked my mom onetime what her goal is, at 75 she said the reason for life is to find it
12:51pm
june roca
june roca
at that point i knew i had to find mine and work for it befor its too late. So, my Dad in the meantime had this high regard for my abilities and talent. I am his favorite daughter.
12:52pm
june roca
june roca
He told me to apply for a job and get one. I kept quiet, with my breath awareness experiment, I was watching myself on how i reacted to what he says
12:54pm
june roca
june roca
There was absolutely no part of me that wanted to react to what he said, no part of me that feels "i want to be right".
12:55pm
june roca
june roca
that's amazing, because in the past, even while i am in bliss, i would keep quiet but some parts of me wanted to say something in response.
12:57pm
june roca
june roca
That was not perfect though because i noticed i am not aware of my breathing in every moment at that time, so i quickly went to do just that.
12:58pm
june roca
june roca
That is tough. But soon i will be able to get everything right. I know there's an improvement and as i do this experiment, i will be seeing more challenges, more breakthroughs and get it done perfectly soon.
1:01pm
june roca
june roca
right now i know that i am totally vulnerable. First i am telling you me as i am and i know wheni do that i will be open to criticism and judgements.
1:04pm
june roca
june roca
But you know what, i had that in the past even when i wasn't as open, so who cares about that now? I don't. All i care about is me expressing myself as who i really am, so i can birth myself and in the process bith you...
1:07pm
june roca
june roca
i mean birth you also as who you really are in all its applications
1:08pm
june roca
june roca
I cannot teach you smething in theory, i have to just be who i really am, and you as me be who you really are...
_______________________________________
January 21, 2008
9:10am
I was about to give up yesterday. I was watching a show on TV on Mother and Daughter Title (i don't exactly know the title, but they had sashes on as vying of a tiltle of maybe Ms. America Mother and Daughter beauty contest),
9:15am
Anyway, there was this speech contest for each participant and the moment came where the loser will be announced. Well, they are given a scissor where they would cut their own sashes and they ended up not cutting it, instead they ran backstage instead
9:17am
The camera followed them and they said "we will always be our own beauty queens, there's no way they will take that away from me.
9:18am
The judges position was that "that's the reason why they were not selected. A beauty queen has to be able to accept defeat graciously."
9:19am
Normally, i would just reason like ...that's a play of life, that's their stuff so i bless them...that's their own evolution. But now that i am doing this experiment on breath awareness and self-forgiveness,
9:23am
i looked at the situation and i know that that rejection they got from the judges would trigger a lot of issues within themselves. That was not justified for the sake of this "reality show",
9:29am
Then i went to the bathroom and while i was thinking this i noticed my issues on rejection had been restimulated so i felt little bit down, but noticed before this experiment, i used to not feel this feeling .
9:33am
Why am i feeling this now? then i asked myself 'Am i aware of my breathing right now? No, i am not. I thought "this is ridiculous. How am i going to function with these things in my mind. My issues plus others issues plus my breathing etc. Before this experiment, everything was simple.
9:36am
I just meditate at night and it is gone. I am my blissful self again. This is ridiculous. when i was about to decide to stop doing this experiment, i remembered the "self-forgiveness " part of the experiment, so i immediately went and I did it.
9:40am
I thought, if this feeling will go away, i will continue with my experiment, but if not i will stop this stupid process.
9:41am
Well, unfortunately, or fortunately, i felt better after the "self-forgiveness" i spoke aloud. The exact words i used is at the end of this blog.
9:42am
I then realized, that there might be some truth in this experiment because if what i was thinking was the mind and i actually am stopping he mind when i do "self-forgiveness" at the same time taking self--resp[onsibility and owning up to
9:47am
being part of the mind by allowing it wiithin me to function, it made a lot of sense. There is a big possibility that i am not my very own thoughts. I might just be really the breath and my sense perception of reality through my 5 senses and any feeling
9:50am
and emotions i have is made by the mind with me allowing the mind to do what it does. Transcendence at this point. Everytime i have a transcendence my senses become more sensitive as if i am more awake to everything, this is different from the bliss
9:53am
i experienced before, this is more like going outside ad feeling the sun touching your skin...it is the sun and you having an intimate moment as you feel each other as one at that particular moment. Wow!!!what an awareness....
9:55am
reality check: will just dry my laundry and some stuff, then i will be back...
9:56am
I had to come back and tell you one very important thing before i leave, and that is what i said as my self-forgiveness statement
10:00am
The statement is: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel rejection and all thoughts associated with it.
10:01am
I release and delete these thoughts and any thoughts associated with those thoughts in the past, now and n the future (considering timelessness etc.) from my dna, cells and all parts of my body and any thought not in alignment with me as one as all
10:03am
expressions of life in its totality including its refractions (associations with thoughts in the past that is being restimulated now). I release all these thoughts NOW. So be it and so it is.
10:05am
9:46 pm
I actually read Jake's blog post about his cat and i found out that the message of the mouse to him from the desteni forum is the same as the issue i am facing and
i need to hear that same advice on being one or equal to the information i process or receive rather than with it or of it.. Transcendence at this point.
Till then...
JANUARY 22, 2008
9:15am
june roca
june roca
I am glad i visited Jake's blog yesterday, Jake is one f the younger generation member of this network and he is taking the challenge. He's got a blog at:www.afriendlydalek.blogspot.com
9:18am
june roca
june roca
This blog is about him doing his process of self-forgiveness and breathing awareness. I was reading yesterdays post of him chasing his cat who caught a bird with his mouth in his attempt to take responsibility and his realization
9:21am
june roca
june roca
The message was what is he doing to stop himself from living? He got a message from the dimensions that he needs to stop being a calculator processing information, but become the information or equal to it rather than with it or of it.
9:26am
june roca
june roca
I got a transcendence right there when i read that.I do exactly that. In experimenting this process, i would process information always.
9:29am
june roca
june roca
What the information meant compared to my past experience when i was meditating etc. Well, now that i know that i am one and equal to the information i process, how will i apply that in my daily life
9:31am
june roca
june roca
so while i am typing here, as i am breathing in, pausing, breathing out, pausing, i breath in as the information as me and me as the one typing, 2 beingnesses as one same breath in this moment, i am became one with the information.
9:36am
june roca
june roca
i mean i became one with the information in that moment. The difference is, i am more relaxed, i just let "me" flow and in so doing i am also watching "me" being aware of me.Fascinating.
9:39am
june roca
june roca
Before, i use to type in a blissful mood and i am wanting to transfer that blissful energy to everyone so they get infected with it.
9:40am
june roca
june roca
There is some separation there because of the "transference" from one to another while now it is just me experiencing me at the moment in the silence and rhythm of the breath in that moment.
9:42am
june roca
june roca
Before the transference was inspired by me feeling one with everyone, so i want to give the information to them and the blissful energy within me, but some separation exist in giving.
9:45am
june roca
june roca
My partner last night opened the fridge and pointed out some food that i have not served on the table while he noted it had been there for awhile. I initiated the agreement in the house that there will be no invalidation (making someone wrong).
9:49am
june roca
june roca
I have told him in the past to not do that because i feel invalidated when he does that since i am in charge of the kitchen, i should be left to decide in that matter.
9:50am
june roca
june roca
Anyway, i kept quiet, i wanted to "be right" at that point but i decided to look inside me and see what feelings will arise. I found the thought "why doesn't he listen?". In the silence of my breath, i turned to myself and asked myself
9:55am
june roca
june roca
What don't i listen to? It dawned on me that i don't sometimes listen to him,
10:00am
june roca
june roca
While i am writing this just this moment, thought of doing this self-forgiveness statement: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not listen to Jaganath and in what he had to say and not treating him as myself, as my equal,
10:03am
june roca
june roca
also for thinking of myself as more awakened than him spiritually. I relase and delete this thought together with other thoughts associated with them
10:06am
june roca
june roca
and the refractions (other thought vibrations awakened by ithem from the past) thereof right here right now, in the past and in the future. So be it, and so it is.
10:08am
june roca
june roca
I feel silence within after that process increased. My breathing became relaxed, my mind clearer and my senses are more aware . I can feel the air i breathe more, the chirping of the birds are more meaningful.
10:14am
june roca
june roca
I can feel the sun's rays as me touching me. Transcendence at this point.
JANUARY 23, 2008
une roca
My partner last night opened the fridge and pointed out some food that i have not served on the table while he noted it had been there for awhile. I initiated the agreement in the house that there will be no invalidation (making someone wrong).
9:49am
june roca
june roca
I have told him in the past to not do that because i feel invalidated when he does that since i am in charge of the kitchen, i should be left to decide in that matter.
9:50am
june roca
june roca
Anyway, i kept quiet, i wanted to "be right" at that point but i decided to look inside me and see what feelings will arise. I found the thought "why doesn't he listen?". In the silence of my breath, i turned to myself and asked myself
9:55am
june roca
june roca
What don't i listen to? It dawned on me that i don't sometimes listen to him,
10:00am
june roca
june roca
While i am writing this just this moment, thought of doing this self-forgiveness statement: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not listen to Jaganath and in what he had to say and not treating him as myself, as my equal,
10:03am
june roca
june roca
also for thinking of myself as more awakened than him spiritually. I relase and delete this thought together with other thoughts associated with them
10:06am
june roca
june roca
and the refractions (other thought vibrations awakened by ithem from the past) thereof right here right now, in the past and in the future. So be it, and so it is.
10:08am
june roca
june roca
I feel silence within after that process increased. My breathing became relaxed, my mind clearer and my senses are more aware . I can feel the air i breathe more, the chirping of the birds are more meaningful.
10:14am
june roca
june roca
I can feel the sun's rays as me touching me. Transcendence at this point.
10:15am
june roca
june roca
January 23, 2008
9:12am
june roca
june roca
Got to have a breakthrough today. My paln...
9:12am
june roca
june roca
My plan, i mean...
9:12am
june roca
june roca
i will do a 15 minutes "no thought" experiment.
9:13am
june roca
june roca
No one with me, i will be alone with my clock and do it. I will check out for about 30 minutes and will be back to tell you how it went...till then.
9:14am
june roca
june roca
i did it only for 2 minutes and with eyes closed. Will do it again later today.
10:48am
june roca
june roca
the self-forgiveness list or video i used http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo7cBloXBD0
11:05am
june roca
june roca
I did the self-forgiveness first then the "no thought" 2 minute breakthrough.
11:06am
june roca
june roca
felt nauseated after the self-forgiveness on deceit , am sure i felt sick of my self-deceit and selfcompromise that goes with it plus the fear. But guess what? I confronted those stuff already and am ready to apply self-responsibility for those
11:08am
june roca
june roca
in my daily life and that's a breakthrough for me. After the "no thought" experiment, i felt my senses can hear even the sound of silence...very pronounced. Fascinating. Am looking forward to the day i will be able to have no thought all day.
11:10am
june roca
june roca
I had a glimpse of what it will be like, its unexplainable. Its more experiencial...till then.
11:11am
January 24, 2008
6:39pm
i had a breakthrough today on the 30 minutes "no thought" experiment. As i was always in bliss in meditation before, i really did not know if i have thoughts or not, just didn't matter then
2:12am
june roca
june roca
now that i am doing the self-forgiveness process, i tried removing thoughts from my mind but in 2 hours of restarting again and again everytime a thought comes, i finally made a breakthrough.
2:14am
june roca
june roca
I did the 30 minutes "no thought " challenge " which i started at my other network: www.onenessandequalityaslife.ning.com
ANUARY 25, 2008
8:22am
june roca
june roca
WELCOME
8:22am
june roca
june roca
YESTERDAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR ME
8:23am
june roca
june roca
NOT ONLY DID I HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH DOING THE CLOSED EYED EXPERIMENT BUT ALSO WAS ABLE TO GO BEYOND MY SELF-DECEPTION OF ME PARTICIPATING IN THINGS I REALLY DID NOT AGREE WITH
8:25am
june roca
june roca
LET ME EXPLAIN, THE PERSON WHO IS COMING IN AND OUT OF THE DIMENSIONS AND BACK TO EARTH, LET'S CALL HIM B, IT'S JUST THAT HE DOES NOT PARTICIPATE IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN ONENESS AND EQUALITY . I SAID THIS BECAUSE WHEN I EMAIL HIM, I NOTICED HE DOES NOT
8:28am
june roca
june roca
SIGN HIS NAME AT THE END OF THE EMAIL. I FIGURED OUT IF I AM HIM AND HE IS ME, I DON'T REALLY NEED THE NAME, WELL AT LEAST WE SHARE THE SAME REALITY BECAUSE WE BOTH ARE AWARE OF THE MESSAGE FROM THE DIMENSIONS
8:30am
june roca
june roca
BACK TO WHERE I LEFT OFF
8:30am
june roca
june roca
I ALWAYS SAY BEFORE, BECAUSE I AM IN BLISS MOST OF THE TIME, THAT I DON'T HAVE FEARS, WELL, IN THAT STATE THOSE WORDS LIKE FEAR ETC. JUST IS INCONCEIVABLE
8:33am
june roca
june roca
UNCONCEIVABLE I MEAN
8:34am
june roca
june roca
BUT NOW THAT I AM DOING THIS EXPERIMENT AND NOT MEDITATING, I AM AWARE OF MY HIDDEN FEARS HIDING BEHIND THE BLISS .
8:35am
june roca
june roca
WELL MY FEAR, I DISCOVERED IS LETTING PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT ME , ALL OF ME, INCLUDING THE TRASH I FORGET I HAVE IN THE PAST . I WENT PAST THAT YESTERDAY
8:37am
june roca
june roca
I DECIDED I WILL TELL EVERY MEMBER OF THIS NETWORK ABOUT ONENESS AND EQUALITY AND SO I CHANGED EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED IN THE NETWORK INCLUDING ITS NAME
11:11am
june roca
june roca
FROM UNIVERSAL LOVE AND PEACE 2012 ONWARDS TO UNIVERSAL ONENESS AND EQUALITY - SOURCE OF REAL LOVE AND PEACE
11:12am
june roca
june roca
THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST SELF-DECEPTION BUSTERS IN MY LIFE HISTORY, BUT I DID IT AND I FELT THAT'S HONESTY IN ACTION.
11:13am
june roca
june roca
IT FELT LIKE I WAS COMITTING HARAKIRI, LIKE YOU COMMIT SUICIDE.
11:14am
june roca
june roca
I HAVE 163 PEOPLE LOOKING FORWARD FOR UNIV LOVE & PEACE BY 2012.......BUT THAT'S TRUTH IN ACTION...THAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I EVER DID FOR THE SAKE OF SELF-HONESTY
11:16am
june roca
june roca
AND GUESS WHAT? I THOUGHT, WELL IF THIS IS FRIGHTENING ENOUGH, LET'S CHALLENGE THAT FEAR EVEN MORE....SO I CHANGED THE WORDINGS OF THE DONATION PART OF MY SITE, FROM SOMETHING LIKE...LET YOUR LOVE FLOW ON DONATIONS ETC.
11:18am
june roca
june roca
TO WE WILL ACCEPT DONATIONS ONLY FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE STANDING UP FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE AND DOING THE SELF-FORGIVENESS PROCESS
11:19am
june roca
june roca
ONE BIG LESSON I LEARNED HERE IS FACE FEAR IN THE FACE....FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY. ...I REALLY DIDN'T HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO LOOSE, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE, BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING....THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED LIVING SIMPLY IN THIS WORLD HELPS
11:22am
june roca
june roca
HAD A HIGH AFTER THAT...MY 30 MIN. "NO THOUGHT" CLOSED EYES EXPERIENCE PLUS THAT MADE MY DAY. YESTERDAY.
11:23am
june roca
june roca
TODAY, I REALIZED THERE'S MORE TO DO....MORE CHALLENGES TO FACE. ..VERY IMPORTANT POINT FOR ME IS BEING GROUNDED IN THIS JOURNEY. TAKING SHOWER IN THE MORNING, CLEANING HOUSE, HEALTHY FOOD, ADJUSTING SELF WITH THE WORLD AND RELATIONSHIPS
11:27am
june roca
june roca
ITS IN THEORY IMPOSSIBLE, BECAUSE ITS 2 DIFFERENT WORLDS I AM FUNCTIONING IN, BUT I FELT LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS MEDITATING AND ACHIEVING BLISS , WHAT HELPED ME REACH THE TOP THERE IS BEING GROUNDED...TILL THEN...
ne roca
January 28, 2008
12:16pm
june roca
june roca
i apologize for me not being here this morning at 9 AM.
7:50pm
june roca
june roca
Afrter the 30 minute, closed eyes, no hought challenge, i did the 45 minutes, closed eyes, lying down no thought experiment and i was able to to it.
7:52pm
june roca
june roca
The blogs on these are posted in the forum section.
7:52pm
june roca
june roca
There was a bit of struggle with making my mind steady as i assume 2 beingnesses. One, as breath without the body, another as breath with a body.
7:54pm
june roca
june roca
To keep my balance and be grounded, i did the stabilizing actions like taking a shower, cooking, cleaning, breathing exercises, pilates and yoga stretches plus qi gong breathing.
7:56pm
june roca
june roca
I became anger when i felt threatened by instability as i stay in balance. The programs in the body is starting to thave a bug. It can't handle data of the life essence assuming multiple beingnesses. What can you expect it is just a program...
8:00pm
june roca
june roca
I started to give a directive to the program and take control just like rambo face to face with his enemies.
8:02pm
june roca
june roca
With me, i am trying to assume the beingness as the life essence and at the same time making the program aware....
8:04pm
june roca
june roca
At this point, i would like to answer the quetion, why self-forgiveness? Well, because programs cannot do the self-forgiveness. Second, it is actually taking self-responsibility as all life.
8:05pm
june roca
june roca
Watch the word used here, it is not taking responsibility for all life which is you separated from all life but, you taking responsibility as all life, wthout separartion, but in oneness.
8:07pm
june roca
june roca
My experience doing the 45 minutes "no thought breathing challenge is fascinating. I experienced myself as air swimming in space not just looking but with hands and feet able to stretch myself infinitely.
8:10pm
june roca
june roca
I saw small orange lights flickering with the sound oneness and equality as all life.
8:11pm
june roca
june roca
The experience is not passive, expansive but active and dynamic where i am so aware of me participating...WOW!!!!!!
8:12pm
june roca
june roca
Question is How good does it get? If this is 45 minutes "no thought" experience , then how would the experience be of all day "no thought" experience? I can just see myself at that point in my evolution, Fascinating stuff!!!!!
8:16pm
june roca
june roca
Till then...
January 29, 2008
I just did post blogs at: www.onegoalinc.ning.com/forum
January 30,2008
9:53am
june roca
june roca
I had been experimenting on my breath and it's just fascinating...
9:55am
june roca
june roca
I have something to say about last Sunday. My partner and me attended the yoga group meditation that i had bee part of for 29 years. My friends were there of course
9:57am
june roca
june roca
I already know what i will do, so at the meditation part, i just meditated on my breath....that was good. At the chanting part, which is singing some songs which means "love is all there is ", I used "Oneness and equality as all" in mine
9:59am
june roca
june roca
we use sanskrit words so lit's easy. But after that and we were all eating vegetarian food and after that, i can't keep my mouth shut, of course!
10:01am
june roca
june roca
so my friends, they are both husband and wife, was talking about what they would do when there would be a lot of calamities in this world
10:03am
june roca
june roca
they were talking about how the master or guru would save them
10:04am
june roca
june roca
The husband said he is on the masterlist of the master and the wife said she thinkshe can just go to the commune that the master delegated as safe and be safe there.
10:05am
june roca
june roca
I said well it's easy for me, i can just breath and in one moment be out of my body, if i don't like to stay and in one breath i can be in my body if i like to come back
10:07am
june roca
june roca
the wife said well not anyone will be like you. I said yes of course it is a choice.
10:08am
june roca
june roca
Before that, they were talking about how the master is helping them today when they call to him, his name is Baba which means beloved. and he already died last 1991
10:09am
june roca
june roca
I said to them "Baba is you", and he even said that. God is us. I said where is he right now? He already merged with all , as per his philosophy. So why will you keep calling him? He is YOU!
10:11am
june roca
june roca
Anyway, the wife of my friend said we still have to realize that, what she meant was she is not yet God, she will have to do the practice to be God. I can see their eyes sort of move from one side to the next. I knew they wanted to react
10:13am
june roca
june roca
but kept it to themselves. All along my partner was hearing all this, and he can see what i am doing. I can already feel that he is trying to diffuse the tension by talking about other subject
10:17am
june roca
june roca
Well, when we are alone in the car , he told me i don't respect my friends by saying what i am saying and that they respect me and the reason why they cannot say anything is because i am their friend. he became angry
10:19am
june roca
june roca
I tried saying something but he will not hear me so i just kept quiet and let him burst out his frustration.
10:20am
june roca
june roca
the next day, i gave him a piece of paper, i call it a "Happiness Recovery Sheet"
10:21am
june roca
june roca
I introduced this one before and had been using this when i see something he had done that is unethical . What is written there is who did the unethical act, what he did, when, and that it is not okay.
10:23am
june roca
june roca
Also written there is who wrote it and what he violated as per the agreement we had when we started being together.
10:24am
june roca
june roca
so, the night he came back from work, he was feeling okay and calm, so i gave it to him. I then explained to him the importance of telling others what you think is true, no matter how painful it sounds or feels. I said to him, if i were the master
10:27am
june roca
june roca
i would come back and scold them for asking me to save them when i already told them they are the GOD!
10:28am
june roca
june roca
He agreed, then he said but you should not tell them this bluntly. I said i did not tell them they were wrong, i wasa just stating a fact that might wake them up. So, he accepted what i said . Then i said to him, look, You are the God,
10:30am
june roca
june roca
whether you like it or not, no one can save you but you.
10:30am
june roca
june roca
Till then...
January 31, 2008
9:28am
june roca
june roca
i feel good today, more in control of my body. Yesterday my head was still feeling a little bit heavy so i did not do any self-forgiveness lists so today i plan to do about 10
9:31am
june roca
june roca
let' see what happens...
9:31am
june roca
june roca
I did a blog today on "Why i as all organize? My self-expression as me as all"
9:32am
june roca
june roca
initially i wrote "why i need to organize"...but considering my new beingness, of oneness and equality, the "need" part doesn't sound like i am one and equal with the word "organize"
9:34am
june roca
june roca
so i just made it "why i as all organize?" I felt okay with that, that sounds more me as one and equal as all
9:35am
june roca
june roca
these are little things i am now aware of, it just makes a lot of difference applying what i accepted as my new beingness in my writings
9:36am
june roca
june roca
my message in that post is that as i am taking self-responsibility, having issues coming out and nausea , disorientation etc from the stuff that i am confronting now considering what i have allowed in this world
9:39am
june roca
june roca
i am joy and celebration. This is me expressing myself in celebration of the fact that i am now taking self-responsibility, finally!
9:40am
june roca
june roca
and i intend to do it in joy and celebration. I will support myself as all in stabilizing myself in a body with a "system" and celebrate as i purge one beingness and assume a new beingness, that of oneness as all expressions of life
9:42am
june roca
june roca
Another one i would blog about today is Freedom . I want to express myself as me as all my self-expressions which are my beingnesses (or identities) in all .
9:44am
june roca
june roca
I see Freedom as being able to express yourself in multiple beingnesses in harmony with my other beingnesses (as i am also you, my clothes, my mom, my daughter, matter, information etc.
9:46am
june roca
june roca
pretty challenging, but doable. Will do some practical organizational outline of how everything will fall into place.
9:48am
june roca
june roca
it will be evolving as me as you evolve so enjoy the ride. 'till then...
About
SPONSORED LINKS
CHAT ARCHIVE:
http://onegoalinc.ning.com/group/chatarchiveonbirthingmeasexperienceofalllife
=============================
PRE-ORDER THE BOOK "THE SHIFT IS HERE" ,
EMAIL:
onenesschef@yahoo.com
=============================
NATURAL FOOD STORE
CLICK HERE
==============================
http://onegoalinc.ning.com/group/chatarchiveonbirthingmeasexperienceofalllife
=============================
PRE-ORDER THE BOOK "THE SHIFT IS HERE" ,
EMAIL:
onenesschef@yahoo.com
=============================
NATURAL FOOD STORE
CLICK HERE
==============================
Badge
TWITTER SITE:
=======================
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER
========================
CHATTING AWAY :
USING THE COMMONSENSE PROCESS
=========================
HERE:
http://twitter.com/janaki
========================
WATCH MY VIEDOS ONLINE:
SUBSCRIBE!
LINK!
COMMENT!
WATCH MY VIDEOS
Channels:
1.RAW FOOD , ONENESS ETC.
http://www.youtube.com/user/onegoalinc
2.ONENESS VIDEOS:LOOKING AT ALL AREAS OF LIFE IN ONENESS
http://www.youtube.com/user/juneroca
3. COOKED AND RAW FOOD VIDEOS: ALL ABOUT FOOD
http://www.youtube.com/user/onenesschef
LINK!
COMMENT!
WATCH MY VIDEOS
Channels:
1.RAW FOOD , ONENESS ETC.
http://www.youtube.com/user/onegoalinc
2.ONENESS VIDEOS:LOOKING AT ALL AREAS OF LIFE IN ONENESS
http://www.youtube.com/user/juneroca
3. COOKED AND RAW FOOD VIDEOS: ALL ABOUT FOOD
http://www.youtube.com/user/onenesschef
SHOWS/WEBINARS
====================
====================
UPCOMING
FREE EVENT:
FREE VIDEO COACHING
======================
IT'S FOR THE SELF FIRST, TO ASSIST AS ALL AS ONE
AS ALL LIFE.
======================
EXPRESSION of INTENTION:
======================
E-mail me AT NING or at:
onenesschef@ yahoo.com
=====================
=====================
Only for those willing to guide Self to look at "What Is" without hesitation...a Gift to Self!!!.
=====================
====================
UPCOMING
FREE EVENT:
FREE VIDEO COACHING
======================
IT'S FOR THE SELF FIRST, TO ASSIST AS ALL AS ONE
AS ALL LIFE.
======================
EXPRESSION of INTENTION:
======================
E-mail me AT NING or at:
onenesschef@ yahoo.com
=====================
=====================
Only for those willing to guide Self to look at "What Is" without hesitation...a Gift to Self!!!.
=====================
© 2009 Created by june roca on Ning. Create a Ning Network!
